The Will of my Heart

I said somethings last night that I felt, but I want to say all of it here and now, this is my final time I'll probably say this but I have so much I wanted to say that I couldn't do it all then.

First, I love you, I will never stop loving you, I am still IN love with you as well. I think about you almost every day, I think about how I could've made things different, maybe if I showed that I cared more than I showed, if I wasn't so afraid to talk to you casually, if I paid more attention if I....

When I wake up in the morning, your face is the first thing that enters my mind, when I sleep its the last thing I see.You've changed me, I never been good at expressing how I feel, or showing emotions towards others but you showed me its not a bad thing to bare yourself to those you love,I've grown closer with my mother because of it, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

My faith was renewed because of you too, I hadn't prayed in a long time, but when everything that happened to you occurred I cried and let out everything in a prayer.It helped so much, I've been doing so ever since then,I even managed to go to church last week with my cousin.

My eyes are starting to water again, its hard to hold them back now when I think about all of this, I've never had someone have this sort of impact on me. It makes me so happy that you still think about me, that I still matter to you, because you will always matter to me.I want to hear your voice again, I miss it so much, I wish I could hold your hand, grasping, feeling so close to you and never wanting to let it go.

 I understand why I can't get over you yet, and I'm fine with it.I still want to be with you, I still feel like we were meant for one another, maybe not yet, but someday, I feel that in the very depths of my heart and soul. I want more than anything in the world to one day have a family and a life with you, its all I seem to dream about now, I love those dreams I cherish them just like I cherish every moment I've ever had with you.


Thank you for being apart of my life El, Thank you for opening my eyes to what love can be, thank you for showing me why I am worth. I love you more than I can ever imagine loving anyone.