I feel truly alone now, been so isolated lately, I found myself crying for no apparent reason other than the fact that I hate where I'm at right now.I need to make a change, but I don't know what to change, I just feel so worn out, and all I can do is sleep, and hold up my front.
I actually thought of killing myself last night,I couldn't do it, my sessions with my therapist are done until I can pay for them myself, which I can't. So now I'm stuck again, I don't know what to do, I walk outside and sit in the dark for hours, then I go to work like some sort of zombie, come home and just go back to sleep, my friends don't have time for me anymore.
I wish I wasn't so moody, I wish I wasn't me I wish I was someone who was stronger, someone who wasn't so shy, someone who wasn't some little boy afraid of living.
Please don't think of killing yourself. Even if you don't know me (nor do I know you personally) I am reading your blog everytime you update it. I truely love how honest you are. I have been through some very similar negative shit lately, that makes me feel very very close to what you are feeling...the same thoughts, angers & depressions...and reading your blog made me feel, not better, but less alone, as i realized that I am not alone having such troubles...
ReplyDeleteto me you seem to be one honest, great and nice guy that is stuck in a moment where you can't get out of at the moment...
At these times I am listening to this songs/bands, hopefully they might also lighten your burden (pls also listen carefully to the lyrics)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6H8optu9rTU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2-1u8xvk54
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14N_LEEhFZY
-john