I walk outside, to my back yard again, the night is very warm, its really dark again, none of the lights out here work, I make my way to my patio, I hop on top of my hot tub and look into the starry sky, This is where I'd usually go to think things out, to asses things, I don't know how to move on, probably because I don't want to.
So another day goes by and nothing significant happens, I just drift by, like I've been doing, I barely eat now, I've dropped my weight to 150, I keep watching romantic anime's to escape feeling so lovestruck I wish I had what I see here. I wish I could have love again, I miss it, I miss that warmth it gave me, that feeling of being alive, of waking up and looking forward to what the day has to offer.
Not anymore, I shuffle to work, I keep my head low as I shower, watching the water fall down my face as if it were my own tears, I wish I wasn't so weak at handling these sort of situations, its been a month or so now and I don't feel much different then when she first left me, I would give anything to have her again, anything.
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