kinda hard to stay focused sometimes, today was a little scary earlier, my mom has reverted to a child-like state, I ask her if she's ok and she just looks at me with this sad face, I give her a hug and tell her everything is going to be ok, she tells me she's scared and shakes a little bit, I hug her tighter and kiss her on her cheek and tell her I'm here.
I went into my room and my eyes started to water a little bit, sometimes its just hard, and I get scared, I sometimes don't know what to do, I tried to keep my mind off things today with random banter at the usual place, even had a little back and fourth with El, I should call her, and talk, would she want to talk though?
I don't know if I should say this because I don't know how often she checks up on my blog, but I now purposely dream of her, I close my eyes and listen to my heart thump as I hear her voice once again say she loves me.People,including her, would probably tell me its better for me to just move on, but it helps me through the nights, I won't ever get that out of my head, because it feels so good to hear.
What awaits me tonight? Another wonderful dream with my dream girl, those beautiful big brown eyes that I find myself lost in always, I love those eyes, I can see so much love in them, so much fight, so much of a spark, even when she doesn't. Love has this stranglehold on me and I'm not fighting it, nor do I want to anymore. Always and forever 1 4 3.
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