Things have been going pretty good for me recently, been seeing someone for about 2 months now, going slow, but I'm having fun. I've let go of some of my hangups that have hindered me before and just decided to go for it. Which is how I ended up dating someone now. Decided not to be worried about being rejected, and trying to be someone I'm not, and turns out she liked that.
So me being more confident and secure with myself has worked great. Funny though, now matter how I change certain things one thing always remains a constant. I still find myself wondering about that one. The one that made me see things different all those years ago. I accept that she'll in some way always be in my heart and on my mind at some point in time. That closure I don't think I'll be able to get 100% but hey, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm just so happy things are looking a lot better now, It feels good to write a post here that's not all sad and gloomy and depressing and everything that this blog has been over the years. I'm glad I still have it as it lets me just let out things I don't really tell anyone.
wanting my own family has been on my mind over the past few years, I hate rushing to the conclusion anytime I find interest in someone, but I feel like something is missing and I can't help but think it's a family. It could be seeing so many young families where I am that it just makes me want my own, but I've been thinking of this since I wanted one with Lisa, and that hasn't changed.
I feel like I have so much to give and so much love to share. My father wasn't the best, and wasn't around much, I still love him. I know I can do better than that, I want to do better than that, I just hope I'll have a chance to one day, till then I'm just going to enjoy how good things are right now, and go from there.
