well, I talked to her again today, I felt like being cold towards to her before she picked up, but as soon as I heard her voice again my heart jumped and I again found myself missing her, I jumped to conclusions with things again as always, something I need to fix about myself. We talked and she explained things, and I myself need to slow myself as well, I, like she put it "dive" into things, its hard not to when my heart wants so bad.
She asks me if I thought she was lying when she told me she'd always love me, I know she meant it.Its something that gets me through some tough times, I still hear how she said it too. "Jr adkins no matter what happens to me or you I will always love you" she told me something that I couldn't hear,I don't do it on purpose, sometimes I get lost in thought of kissing her or something else whenever I talk to her.
all of this is still hard, I do my best for myself and as well as her, because I want her to be happy,I love her so much, I hope she knows that. I stand by my statement I told her before, that I am her lighthouse, your boat may take you to other places,and you may go through storms and tough tides, but my light will always shine,it will always burn bright,for you to make your way back to me, no matter what I'll wait, I don't care who cares knows whatever, I don't care how long, that's how strong my love is.
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