sometimes I really don't process situations in the best ways, and it leads me to fuck up things, did it today, I wish I could take it back because it was really unfair to say, its hard both ways, I shouldn't bring up past mistakes to justify my own selfishness.
She told me something today, that made ever losing her even harder, but at the same time the greatest thing someone has said to me "Jr Adkins I love you, and will always love you.No matter what happens to you or me I will always love you" I still hear the words echo in my head now. It warms my heart ten fold,some people may have dreams of becoming rich or famous or whatever, all I've ever dreamed of was someone wanting to love me no matter what, not obligated by relation.
Just to know that helps through all of these trying times,even now, when I know she's mad for what I said, but she still loves me, I keep letting my head get away from me though, and its playing with my heart,I still feel it deep down that this is just the beginning, I don't know how many more times the strength of our commitment we'll go through. I want her to be happy as she can be she deserves it, I just pray she embraces it with the one who cares for her now, and has,through all of it.
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