I've finally tired myself out,


but I will always care and love you no matter how much hate you have for me right now, I won't ever stop caring, this hurts so much right now, but it still doesn't change how I feel and will feel.


I'll continue to wait, even if I missed my chance, you're worth every moment of all the pain I go through, I brought it on myself, I let my ego get in the way of things, I wish I wasn't such a fuck up.

I remember when you told me the story about your bf who hit you,I just remember thinking how much you didn't deserve that.Now that I think of it, I don't deserve you, you're too good for me, I knew I'd fuck it up, and I did, I just,I just want you to be happy! Sometimes I feel like I can't make you happy, and I don't want to see you sad,or cry, it hurts my heart every time I heard you cry.


I read your blog everyday you know, your story on your birthday made me cry. Its like spending time with you which is why sometimes I don't talk to you as much I guess, I kinda talk to you through your blog and mine, and sometimes I let my emotions work me up, I read and read, and it seems your happy on your own, all I can think about when I talk to you is bringing "us" up.

I don't want to drag you down with relationship stuff with you, thats the honest reason I didn't talk to you that much, you met new people and were enjoying their time, you don't need some mopey Ex telling you how much he misses you and wants you back, but it looks like you did, I wish I could've said to you this week and last, what I've told your picture.

I have a picture of you that I've kept, that I talk to when I can't tell you things, your eyes,I can't hold anything back from those eyes, I tell you how much I love you, how I'll wait, how I'll always be there, yet am I? no. I don't message you, I didn't call you I had no intention for you to message me.

I didn't think I was on some time, but once again, time is my enemy and has played me over again,but its my fault.


I'm still here, I'm not going anywhere, even if your heart is aimed at someone else, I'm not going anywhere, I swear on my own life.