Hmm

I went out again last night, had a bonfire in Santa Cruz, I forget sometimes just how beautiful it is out here.Friends I hadn't seen in months came by and it felt like one of those big parties we used to have a few years ago.My friend disha asks me about her, asks me how I'm doing with everything I tell her its still hard (because it is) but I'm making my way.

I start to think about you, your smile still resonates in my dreams, your voice still rings out in my head every now and then, I shake it off.I had fun, I am feeling good again, even when I think about her now I still feel happy. I however, did cry a little last night, I was watching a movie and the shift focused to an intense romantic scene, I can feel them so much more now, when I hear the words of the man telling her that he would go to any length's for her, and how he has found love by being with her,my eyes start to water, my heart starts to beat faster and uncontrollable I become flustered and I think of her saying "I love you"


Honestly, it sucks to lose that, but I have to say I want to thank her so much for giving me this feeling, although we're not together, when I think of our good times, and remember everything she's told me I can play it back in my head like it just happened,and those same feelings and emotions come back to me. I had to stop myself though I think I worked myself up too much thinking about it.My heart would race, and I got to the point I didn't think I could breath, so I stopped.

This feeling from love, I have to watch it, and make sure not to abuse this, it might hurt me if I do.