ok, I'm kinda shaking right now because I'm so nervous over actually sending a message, I'm sure I don't have a shot in hell with her anymore because well I ruined that, but I just had to say something that I've felt for a bit after finding the poem I had wrote for her a year ago.

dwelling and living in the past isn't going to do me any favors, but I can't leave things as they are, it pains me to my very core to know the first person I ever fell in love with hates the very thought of me. I just hope someday she can forgive the violation of trust and line I crossed last year.

I wasn't thinking clearly but there is no excuse for my inappropriate behavior and comments, it was very immature of me and sick, I know that and I really don't deserve to be forgiven, but I had to try.

I really am sorry for being so thoughtless and inconsiderate to your feelings, if you do read this I don't mean to sour on your life now if its going well (I hope it is) its just been killing me inside for so long.