changes

I took a look at myself and where I am and realize I need to make some changes. I need to break bad habits, I need to make a real life for myself. I don't know how to go about it honestly, I can't really talk to my friends about it, because I don't think they'll understand.Feeling like this, I don't really seem happy, or content with anything. I wake up and wish I was sleeping again, where I have a better control over the outcome of my life and my happiness but then I realize its not real and I feel nothing but disappointment and sadness.


I hate to always feel stuck in this mood, I wish I could have talk to my mom about this, I miss her so much.
I don't know who to talk to about this, everyday I feel more and more alone, more and more stuck while everyone around me is moving forward and upward, I'm just stuck in limbo hoping for something to give me that push I need, that kick in the ass to wake me up.Its not going to come because I'm the catalyst to it and right now I don't feel like doing much of any kicking.

Does that make me a hypocrite? I talk about change and do nothing  about it. I stay in my status quo, and just hope that something will come along and change life for me.I hate being alone, back to my dreams I go.