from friends to something more

I think I might be falling for someone again, she has been in my life for a long time, and we've only been friends, but the last few weeks, have really changed my view on her, and I think I'm falling for her hard. I hope I don't ruin our friendship, but when the feelings are both ways and strong, it may be worth a shot to try it out.

changes

I took a look at myself and where I am and realize I need to make some changes. I need to break bad habits, I need to make a real life for myself. I don't know how to go about it honestly, I can't really talk to my friends about it, because I don't think they'll understand.Feeling like this, I don't really seem happy, or content with anything. I wake up and wish I was sleeping again, where I have a better control over the outcome of my life and my happiness but then I realize its not real and I feel nothing but disappointment and sadness.


I hate to always feel stuck in this mood, I wish I could have talk to my mom about this, I miss her so much.
I don't know who to talk to about this, everyday I feel more and more alone, more and more stuck while everyone around me is moving forward and upward, I'm just stuck in limbo hoping for something to give me that push I need, that kick in the ass to wake me up.Its not going to come because I'm the catalyst to it and right now I don't feel like doing much of any kicking.

Does that make me a hypocrite? I talk about change and do nothing  about it. I stay in my status quo, and just hope that something will come along and change life for me.I hate being alone, back to my dreams I go.

Its Ok

I've learned to accept what I cannot change, although it can be hard and frustrating, I know there is nothing I can do to fix the outcome so all I can do is put my best foot forward and live my life. One day at a time.

God I sound like a walking cliche.