You're fucking right I am, But I also need to speak the truth, I owe her that, and even though I'm afraid of how she'll respond I need to.
over the last year or so, I've come to my own conclusion,how you and I came to be, how it became what it did, has changed how I view relationships in general. You were the first girl to ever love me, and the first girl I ever loved,being with you, but not being with you, made our situation unique.
My love life is pretty...non existent,the last girl I dated was the first serious sort of thing I've had since you honestly,it ended pretty badly, with her basically calling me on being complacent with where I am in life. She wanted more, I didn't really care. She seen that, called me a worthless loser and left.
That wasn't three months ago, that was 3 years ago, I haven't had anything serious since, and I honestly don't even really mind it. The only girl I've ever really loved, or will ever love is you.
This might sound sad, but at this point, I don't care, my life isn't great it's not shit either. I don't need to find love when I already know where it is.
I still believe in the possibility of a family with you,no matter how hard that may be to see with our current circumstances, but with time anything is possible. Please don't feel bad or anything for how I feel. My mom was with my dad for a long period but I never seen any of it, she was by herself even longer and was fine, so I have no problem being by myself until my opportunity comes.
I love you Lisa, I will always love you, I will always be there for you, I will never abandon or turn on you as long as I live. You are the woman of my dreams, you are the only woman I would want to bring a life into this world with. As Corny as I sound here, I believe you were put in my life for a reason. And I'm not ever going to regret that.
